Christian Thinking About Infertility

Why does God allow infertility? It is not the sort of question secular thinkers ask, but Christians do ask, and they ask other heart-rending questions. Plus or Minus: keeping your life, faith and love together through infertility asks a lot of hard questions. I am profoundly grateful that I never needed this book, but couples who experience infertility will be profoundly grateful that it is available. Mat and Cheri Appling have opened up the experience of infertility with candor and grace. What’s more, their shared wisdom in relationship building makes this a book I would recommend to any couple.

If you are looking for scientific details or medical advice, this is not the book you need. This book is more like a travelogue of the journey through infertility as seen by Christian couples who believe that human life begins at conception.

The three couples featured in this book are very different from each other except for two things:

  1. All three couples were diagnosed with infertility, and
  2. All three couples are Christians.

Each couple’s infertility had its own cause, and each couple took a unique path to a unique outcome. As they share their experiences, they also share insightful commentary on our culture and its attitudes toward both children and infertility.

The real point of the book is to help couples sustain their marriages under the pressure of infertility. Cultural pressure. Personal anxiety. Mutual disappointments. Finance. Careers. Every part of life is impacted. Matt, Cheri, and their friends lay themselves bare as they work through a maze that is different for each couple. They discovered that every choice requires another choice. There was no way to be prepared for everything. Infertility challenged their faith and everything they thought they knew about marriage and relationships, but they discovered that “God uses all the barren seasons of life for our spiritual growth.” (Kindle loc 1206)

Every couple facing infertility will find this book valuable as they struggle to keep their marriage strong through the experience of infertility.

By Katherine Harms, author of Oceans of Love available for Kindle at

I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.